Relationships can be the most complicated things you will ever encounter, and also some of the most blissful.

Whether things are chugging along smoothly for you, or things are sour, I've come to realise that you can always keep improving things and making them better. Either you're into never-ending self-improvement, or you're trying to prevent something like a break up or a divorce. No matter which end of the spectrum your relationship is at (and almost all relationships go through most if not all phases, stages and occurrences), you can always make things better.

However, remember to relax into any of this improvement. I've found that these improvements cannot be forced, primarily for these three reasons:

• The two of your intentions might not be aligning at that moment that one of you might want to "fix" things. This is normal. Not all humans want the same things at the same time. If you really want to fix things, you are going to have to wait for the other person, or the other person is going to have to wait for you. Sometimes the denial can be so strong... that people are unwilling to see that there's even an issue. There's nothing "right" or "wrong" about this, it is just life.
  
  
• The "forcing" or "fixing" can be coming from your mind, and not from a good observation of the current scenario and reality which is occurring. For example, the other person in the relationship (or you), might be eons behind in terms of their development in a particular area. As such, their views, beliefs and methods would seem primitive to the more mature person in that area. The more mature person in that particular area of conflict, is again, going to have to wait.
  
  
  • As an example, yesterday my wife told me that she found out that wireless Bluetooth headphones (closed back or open back) are better than the earplugs they give you on flights. Because she is not into tech or media like I am (music, audio and video production) and also spiritual explorations of what is harmful on this planet and what actually isn't according to our advanced but not necessarily evolved society (and the links between the two, the spirituality and the frequency of devices stuff), she thought this discovery was fantastic.
    
    
    • To which I said, "better than"? To which she said, "wired earplugs". To which I said, "When are you going to figure out how energy and the Universe actually work?"
       
    • I continued and said, "If you value your daughter's life, and your brain, cognitive and holistic health for the long run, just run a 3-word search on Google, and learn a little more on this topic please sweetheart. Just search 'harmful energy spectrum' or something to that effect, and you'll understand why anything wireless around your brain or body, including Wi-Fi when you sleep, is super harmful to your being. To me, when you say wireless bluetooth headphones are better, it would be like me saying to you, a person who eats a Vegetarian and largely non-toxic diet, "I found that Ketchup and Chilli Sauce are much better for our child than using tomatoes or chillis to make a natural home-made dressing instead, because it’s more convenient to use the sauce.""
      
      
    • She understood the example immediately and promised to go research and learn more.
      
      
    • Similarly, I also have had many learning points about life (my wife was more evolved in those areas), that directly impact our relationship, as do most if not all humans.
      
      
  • Hence, we need to realise that because of each other's learning journeys, we can't force someone up to speed in the areas which cause issues in our relationship, whatever they may be. These things take time and are dependent on their own life journeys as well.
    
    
• Thirdly, you might be affected by the energy of the people around you. For example, my wife and I have always found, that when we ask everyone including our parents, friends, group hangouts, child, helper, etc., to not disturb us, and I mean literally, meaning we go out alone for half a day, or we spend a lot of hours together in a week without outside interference alone, we tend to get closer together. Sometimes we feel exceptionally loving towards each other, and sometimes the space allows us to work through issues where we aren't feeling very loving towards each other (comes down to maturity levels too, in case you find that you are constantly angry at the other... you probably have not learnt how to process anger yet... and that's ok)(or it can be that the other is an ABSOLUTE mismatch for you in ALL areas - but then again... there could have been something divine that brought you together - just maybe ;) ). So space and time to be together alone does magnify the issues, but it also allows you to see more clearly (if you're open to seeing).

In conclusion, while it is definitely a good step to want to improve things, they may not be quick to change because of:

1. The different wants and needs of each party at a particular moment.
2. The difference in maturity or developmental levels between each other on various topics.
3. The couple being affected by the energy of other people.

Love,
Zephyr

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