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behaviour relationships

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of people in the incident.


What you need to know before I tell you about this incident.

I have been recently applying for a job. Depending on how we want to frame this, and I'm keeping in mind the title of this blog post, I can either say, "It's been tough" or I can say, "It's been a joyous invitation by the Universe to do what's uniquely me."

As someone who dropped out of the National University of Singapore when I was on a seemingly straight path to success (but trust me, no, it was disgusting (not the University necessarily, just the path I was on as it related to my own life)) (read more here), to pursue a music degree at LASALLE College of the Arts, Singapore, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, sleepless nights, painful days, and many near-suicide attempts wondering why I do not "fit in" into society much. This has happened throughout the journey, as any Entrepreneur or spiritually awakening will be able to attest to. It has gotten extremely intense this year. You know what they say... "It's always darkest before dawn."

As the number of spiritually awakened people on Planet Earth grows, this becomes a more common story. 

This year, 2023, was a year I set aside to release content on YouTube and this website. Only. However around April, as the application procedure to get a PR for another country came to a close (submitting the last few documents), I panicked, because it seemed like the other country wanted only office workers, or for lack of a better term, "day jobbers", or if I'm really ignoring the title of this blog post, then "slaves", as new PRs. So I frantically began applying for jobs, in the hopes that I would be viewed better by the country I was applying to, after a year of working. The agent told me repeatedly that we had to "show" that I had been consistently in a job or what they call "a classification code" when it comes to work, for at least a year. 

Is that a good reason to get a job? Sure I guess. Reach for your goals and all that. Right? Whatever it takes. Right?

Thankfully, we arrived at the conclusion that while it didn't seem attainable, because I didn't have a day job, I HAD been self-employed since 2019 in the mind, body and spirit space, depending on how many clients had come through. The clientele and number of customers had grown since then, even through Covid, and it was all under this banner, Three Part Human, the site on which you are reading this blog article.

However, the lure of stable cash and a stable position hasn't left my side since I realised that according to a country's legal and immigration system, I might not look or be taken as the most "stable" person.

In this job search (which I am probably ending today other than for a few select roles which I feel will be tolerable as compared to running my own business successfully which would be pure bliss due to the nature of the subject matter I cover with my services), I reached out to an ex-employer. I had left this employer some time back, stating (and I still remember the voices inside me and the morning I woke up and typed the note) that "the work was no longer fulfilling."

This employer had gone above and beyond for me, during my time there. He first agreed to change me from a day rate, which was his initial suggestion, to a full-time role upon my request. He then agreed to downgrade that to a part-time role upon my request. He then agreed to ammend that to me fulfilling the part-time number of hours but being able to work from anywhere at any time that I wanted upon my request. You see, this was my soul telling me, "this "report to this place at this time wearing this stuff" is bullshit, and slavery." Which I maintain... it is. (But if you need to feed your family or yourself please do not be adamant. Fall in love with the work (if you can), I say.)

What human being should have control over another? And for what? So they can feed their families? Seems noble when you say it like that. Till you ponder this. The food you need, IS. ON. THE. F. TREES. FREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Read that again.

But... guess what we've done as humans? We've even managed to control even that. *scratching head* 

I digress. Ooh they're going to love this blog post on LinkedIn, where most of my readers (or at least social interactions based on Likes are). πŸ˜‚

So basically, this employer was amazing and bending over backwards, just to keep me. That said, I was bending over backwards just to keep them too. The amount of work was non-stop, at irregular hours, all under the banner of "flexibility". All said and done, we were both getting a fair deal. Although my hours were irregular, I tend to work with my heart and soul and get things done - and the employer said so himself.

Until it ended. 

An incident about the ex-employer with harsh words.

I have a friend called Beth. We're close. I was relaying to her over the past week how my intuition told me to go seek out this employer again and tell them I wanted a job. It would be low-hanging fruit, and guess what? Since I had awakened to the real-world needs of holding a job (debatable, but I mean from the immigration perspective - again debatable, but I thought I needed one.) and since I was more mature as an adult and all gung ho to suddenly "provide for a family" versus letting my business play out (again debatable because businesses CAN and DO provide for not only families but hundreds of families depending on the business), I thought I would present much better to the employer, this time around, versus being "that guy who asked us to keep being accommodating and then left".

So I arrived to the co-working space where the employer was renting a unit and some desks (they took my suggestion about this co-working space (I had myself rented it before for my own business) or finally arrived at their own conclusions that it was good - hallelujah! - I was taking charge of the hunt for a new office while I still worked for them) last Friday. They weren't there, but I had a chat with the staff. I then showed up at their house later that evening. Yes, we had that kind of relationship where I would go over to solve things on their laptops for them when they couldn't, and, I'm also a go-getter. They're a husband-wife team, and the wife told me that they had just maxed out new hiring and so there was no more new hiring to be done. 

The husband texted me back later at 830pm saying, "Sorry, was playing golf today."

I persisted on Sunday evening, knowing how husband-wife relationships go and that all I needed to do was to convince one of them. I reached out to the husband with a long text. On Monday, I followed up with a note, asking if he received my Sunday evening note, and that I was available to come by for a chat. No reply. On Tuesday during my daily 1-hour walk, I did the same. He replied. He said, "I am not in a position to hire at the moment. I would suggest you should run your own business. It will be a good experience for you."

Both my will, and the conversation, fell apart quickly after that and I thanked him.

After coming back from my walk and after lunch, I video called Beth and told her about it. Her reply shocked me and still does this morning at 4:40am (Wednesday), hence prompting me to write this article. She said, "It's clear that that's Patrick's way of asking you to F off."

I replied with a weird facial expression and, "I don't think we need to add drama where there isn't. I take things at face value. He's stated where he's at in his business, and also, gave me some good advice."

She started defending her stance, but I wasn't having any of it. First, because she WAS adding unnecessary drama where there didn't need to be any, and second, because me taking on the mental burden of the fact that he could be plotting revenge in a sense, and just kicking me to the curb when I need help, is not something I'd like to entertain for my mental health right now. I've had mental health struggles in the past which have led to suicidal thoughts. (Most humans have, although most humans won't tell you they have. What a secretive society we've created on Earth... time for a change.)

I've dealt with that, way too much in life already, through various stages of my life from my parents, to my spouse, to my "friends", to a community I'd built, to people I made famous in the music scene here in Singapore. Yes, I've healed from all of that, and some of us (the family), have healed from that together (or at least, I've done my part in making attempts to - and watching them grow and learn that honesty and talking clearly is a way to solve things openly (that older generation is so cute... and sadly... trapped in their own thinking πŸ˜”)).

I now choose to see the best in people, as often as I can, as that not only sends them good energy, it radiates good energy through my being too. On that note, sure, even Beth is going through some things, obviously, because a kind, calm and centred person wouldn't have responded that way upon hearing Patrick's note (Patrick being the ex-boss). That much is clear. I've been over this with Beth several times, and she's mentioned she grew up in India in a dog-eat-dog society. Before any of you go mad at me for calling India a dog-eat-dog society, know that those are Beth's words. Not mine. I have observed several drama-filled responses from Beth over the years. 

I literally would have no clue about Indian society and neither do I claim to know as I moved from India to Singapore when I was 8 months old and don't know anything about the place other than that we cannot find Chicken Tikka like India's in Singapore. Also that it gives me rather spiritual vibes. 

2 Lessons From This Incident.

1. If you can, when someone presents a scenario to you, try not to respond with your worst interpretation of it or the humans in it.

2. When someone tells you that another human is spiteful or hateful towards you, understand that first, that could be the narrator's projection onto the person they are speaking about. Second, even if it IS true, the person in question is just a human being. All humans have their emotions, actions and life journeys. None of these are "right", "wrong", or anything of that nature. They just, ARE. Life, IS. How you want to feel about that... is your choice. There are many of us, who notice it, and smile. 

My Question To You.

Who will you be today? ❀️

She Texted Back! 

So I sent this blog post to Beth, and she texted back... here are some of her texts! Thank God for common sense and love.

 

Love ❀️
Zephyr
Founder
Three Part Human



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 Hey there, Zephyr here. I hope you enjoyed reading the post.

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