Busting One Of The Most Common Excuses For Chickening Out.
Whenever people try to pursue a new goal, dream, vocation, direction or vision, which is particularly non-conventional or not what we regard as "safe", there are often two statements that come up.
1. "If it was so easy, everyone would be doing it." << This comes up quite a lot.
2. "If everyone did this, how would the world work?" << This one, sometimes.
In this article, I break down a few things.
Why we say Statement 1. and how it plays out in our minds while saying it. (with examples)
Why Statement 1., is actually broken. Very broken. Ridiculously broken. (with examples)
What happens when people do or do not live by these excuses. (with examples)
Why We Say Statement 1. & How It Plays Out In Our Minds While Saying It.
The sponsoring thought as to why someone might say this, is FEAR. Years and years of fear as conditioned and embedded into the person by society.
Often, people are interested in said new venture because they like it. Let's say it's a game, sport or a career. Many a time, people may like it or want to venture into something because they find it easy. The person in question for said venture, might have certain aptitudes, skills, certain past life experiences, certain experiences in this life, looks, behaviours, characteristics and so on. These collectively, would make it easy for the person.
A massive fallacy arises when people assume that because it is too good to be true, it must be wrong. This is the way society has conditioned many of us. Luckily, some of us have learnt how to escape that, as part of the evolution of a human being or a soul within a lifetime. For those of us who have not learnt how to escape that yet, I would like to share a saying. In music production we say - if it sounds good, it IS good. Meaning, release the music and let the audience have it. Do not sit on it obsessing if everything is ok for longer than you need to. More people would be better off adopting this approach even outside the music industry. Just go for it. Sitting on something and debating if it is ok or not based on your mind's doubts is probably the worst thing you can do for yourself. The greats in any industry never waited for their brain to object when their heart was in something, and neither do all the spiritual souls taking part in the current awakening that is going on around the planet. More on this later.
Example From My Own Life - Musician Talking To Accountant
In this scenario, the musician has FEAR, the accountant does not. I once spoke to an accountant friend. In my head, I was having fears.
1. How will my band do?
2. Will the songs go places?
3. Will the songs even get released?
4. Who will I get to mix the songs?
5. Who will I get to master the songs?
6. Will we have fans?
7. Will we actually make money?
Here is what I said though, in point form.
1. Here's what I do.
2. Here's my band's rehearsal space.
3. Here's my office space.
4. Here's my equipment.
5. Here are the songs we've released.
After a while the accountant said, "This is getting too complicated for me bro. When is your band performing, where can I check you guys out and how much are the tickets?"
Which is strange. Isn't it? No it isn't. Here's why. The people outside my industry are used to the final product and receiving it quick and easy - "This is what you guys do. You make good music and we pay for it. So when's the show?"
In other words, the person outside the industry was leading me towards where I should have been heading if I did not have a fear-based mindset and was focussed on the end product of where I wanted to go in the first place.
I, however, was ignoring the joy of that end goal in my mind, which I would have been better off focussing on actually, based on the law of attraction, and other metaphysical and energy concepts, as opposed to focussing on the setbacks. This is rather funny, considering how much easier music was for me than the accountant friend I spoke to. It seemed like a no-brainer that I would use my talent and skills to get to that stage really quick, but in the moment, I let my FEAR-based mindset take over and started thinking of all sorts of fears that had nothing to do with achieving the goal.
Example From My Own Life - Pharma Sales Rep Talking To Musician
In this scenario, the pharma sales rep has FEAR, the musician does not. I once spoke to a pharma sales rep friend. Here is what the pharma sales rep friend told me, in point form.
1. I'm 35 and I don't have 2 million dollars yet.
2. Because I don't have the 2 million dollars yet, I haven't bought a condominium to live in.
3. I don't have a nice car yet.
4. My wife complains a lot that we are not rich yet.
In my head, I was thinking that this was ridiculous. Sales. Pharmaceuticals. What a potent combination to make money on this overly drugged planet that we are on. And yet here he was, complaining about money and assets, when he clearly earned 20 times more than me.
What was going on in this situation?
The pharma sales rep was projecting his fears into the conversation whereas I, the musician, from another industry, who did not have the same fears as him was asking for end result. "Ok talk to me about how much you made this month?", I asked for the end goal. I acknowledged that the guy was probably stressed, for some reason or the other. It could have been that he hadn't exercised in a while, or something else.
There was no doubt in my mind however, that he was making money, based on what he was wearing, how he was talking, where he was going, the number of packs of cigarettes he smoked in a day, and so on and so forth.
The conclusion here from these two scenarios is that we tend to get caught up in our fears, especially when something is too easy for us, but when someone from the outside is looking in, they see that it's actually, not that bad. In fact they expect you to do well at it when they weigh your aptitude against the apparent end goal. Could they be on to something? They are, many a time.
Why Statement 1. is actually broken. Very broken. Ridiculously broken.
Let's imagine this. You're someone who wants to play pro basketball, after playing it as a sport in school for a while. You tell a friend about it. They say, "If it's so easy, everyone would be doing it. Don't do it, you might fail."
Let's bust this in the next sentence. If I, Zephyr Khambatta found it very easy to be playing basketball, I still wouldn't play it professionally. There. Busted. Even if we can somehow metaphysically go back and take Michael Jordan's playing abilities out of his body when he was at his prime and put them in my body right now, and I could walk into the NBA league tomorrow and run circles around everyone, I still would not do it. This is simply because I don't like basketball that much. I like spiritual practises, life coaching, nature, exercising and diet planning for myself and others and music. Also to me, competitions are against humanity and love. How can I win, when somebody else loses and is sad? That's not in alignment with my soul and love beliefs.
So not everyone would do it. You might say, "That's just a word in the sentence, we could replace that word with most." Well... still inaccurate. Most humans still wouldn't do it. Let's go deeper and understand why this so and why the statement is a complete B.S. excuse to not do something.
Let's flip this around for a second. If you are a professional basketballer and I convince you and you realise that life coaching is really easy, and I even take you through a course on how to do it, you might say "No thanks I'm happy playing basketball, I don't want to see so many different people a day and listen to all their problems. I rather just bounce these balls, keep fit all day, enjoy family life and free time between trainings and get paid a premium for doing just that because I provide massive value to the planet through global entertainment."
Here's where it gets really interesting, and many of us are about to have our societal conditioning get punched. The statement can actually be, or your comeback (if you have the courage to live your life for yourself) can actually be:
"Even if was that easy, everyone would not be doing it, because human beings have preferences."
In an ideal world, where everyone could do what they wanted to do, not everyone would be a basketball player. Now someone might say, "Well yes not all people would do it if was that easy, and not even most people would do just one main out-of-the-box career like basketball but surely at least some people would do it. Right?"
Yes, you're right. A group would definitely be playing basketball. In fact, a group already is, and those who do it wholeheartedly and for a career, become pro basketball players. It is that simple. "Hang on. Are you telling me I should just do what I love all day?"
"Maybe... what does your heart say?"
This leads me neatly to my next point.
What Happens When People Do Or Do Not Live By These Excuses
When it is something that you like to do and there is a group of people that's doing it, you could enter the vocation or job if you have the courage to. There is an industry that exists because people are doing it. If you like it, you could enter it. If you don't like the concept of earning money for it, do it as a hobby. You should be there though, in that group, i.e. you should do it, because you like it.
Let's use Walt Disney as an example.
Let's say Walter Elias Disney likes driving trucks and we are looking in at the beginning of his career. He thinks trucks are beautiful. The shape, the colour, the sound of the horn, the sound of the tyres crunching the gravel in the driveways that he pulls out of, the scenery on the long drives as a truck driver; the mountains, the rivers, the clouds, the open plains, hikers walking along the path and so on.
For some reason, he now says, "I'm going to get out of this outdoor environment, go rent an office which I don't like, sit at a desk all day which I hate, use a pencil although my handwriting and drawing is rubbish, and write stories and draw little cartoon character doodles. Then, I'm going to try to sell them, although I hate sales and talking to people, and I miss the long, open drives."
Then, he gets money from these sales. Then he sells more to get more money. Then when his day is packed to the brim with creation of stories and cartoons and sales, and he has no more time, he hires a team, and starts managing people, which he hates. Then he starts an entire industry, making people dream about the possibility of their lives through stories, making children and adults alike cry in the cinemas, expressing unfettered human emotions. The industry makes others who like drawing, animation, creativity etc dream about making their creations come to life and getting paid for it while doing those things. He does all this, although he hates it. He actually likes driving trucks. Yet, he still does that, the cartoon and story stuff.
Do you think that if Walter Elias Disney liked driving trucks that much, he would be the Walt Disney we knew? I don't think so.
I'm sure if you asked yourself that in a closed room, without any distractions, any devices, or any family members' or friends' doubts in your head, you'd agree, that he probably loves the cartoon and story stuff.
Now you may say, "Ok fair enough I should join the community that does the things that I like or I should do the things that I like, but what if I don't get to the top?" Yes, not everyone will get to the top, but in my humble opinion, you shouldn't do something just to get to "the top". If you're so obsessed with "the top", you should go climb a mountain. Heh.
If you're obsessed with competing, you can join a sport, where competition is the actual thing you do on a day to day basis. Joining a profession where things are uncertain in terms of competition, for example maybe an office job where out of 10 capable people only one would get promoted to manager and there is no clear system to decide who gets promoted, and saying, "Now I'd like to get to the top," might just kill the profession.
If it's an engineering company, instead of coming out with something amazing with all your creativity, your focus might be on winning a promotion against your colleagues. Nothing exceptionally good ever comes out of a task where someone isn't focussed 100%.
This gets worse in industries like arts or the creative field. Arts isn't supposed to be about competition. Science is when you know where something is going. Art is where you don't know.
Basically, if you want to get to "the top", i.e. you want to compete in your career, perhaps join a sport or a game like chess or poker, as your career. For everybody else and every other profession, it's ok to not get to "the top". If you love your profession so much, just doing it would fill your heart up with joy. You might not look for competition other than for added spice in a boring day, for example.
In conclusion, remember that if anyone ever discourages you from doing something and says, "If it was so easy, everybody would be doing it", then you can reply with "Even if it was that easy, not everyone would be doing it, as human beings have preferences, and so do I."
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